My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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