dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
