you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
