I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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