Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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