My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
