People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
