...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
