I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
