So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We left the knife in your bed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
