if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
