If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
