I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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