"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
