It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
