I bet he comes in French.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
