it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
