I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
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My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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