my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
