apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
