Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
