why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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