what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
