Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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