Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
