Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
