I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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