break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
