I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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