I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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