i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
