drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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