He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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