it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
