the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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