just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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