Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize