the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
