a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
