You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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