she smelled like a LAN party
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
that is very illegal...i love you.
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