Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
