Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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