Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
