Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
