Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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