how can u be prego again
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
