No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
should my penis look like a turkey
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
