i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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