I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
