It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
