I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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