Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My penis needs a shock collar
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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