Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
