Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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