oh god the rape fog is back!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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