If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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