i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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