Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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