I feel like abortions should bother me more
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
