I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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