everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
