hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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