i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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