im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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