I'm gonna have a badass scar
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
