I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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